So, it’s day 4 — how’s your New Year’s resolution coming along? If you don’t have one, you might actually be in the majority. An end-of-the-year survey of 2,000 Americans found that 55% weren’t making the traditional “big” self-improvement goal for 2024. Instead, many folks are simply setting their sights on more general aspirations like “eating healthier” or “better money management,” rather than shooting for one concrete goal that, if we’re being honest with ourselves, is highly unlikely to be achieved.
Sadly, just 12% of Americans wind up fulfilling their New Year’s resolution over the entirety of a year, according to the survey.
So I get it, if the odds are so deeply stacked against you, why bother?
I’ll tell you why. Self-improvement isn’t supposed to be easy. And just like anything in life, failure can fuel success — with the right mindset of course. If you’re afraid to fail, you waive the opportunity to succeed. If you beat yourself up too hard for failing, you’ll stay down.
Being mindful of your failures and the emotions that come with them can motivate you and lift you to new heights the next time, rather than bury you entirely.
As you can probably guess, I like New Year’s resolutions and I’m still setting one or two. Last year, my resolution was to stop going on Facebook. And, for the most part, I’d say it was a great success. Outside of hopping on when I was in search of recommendations or tickets for an event, to look up some birthdays (admittedly, I realize how dependent I was on the platform for bday reminders and I sure did forget many), or to provide some updates during a family emergency, I engaged in pretty much zero Facebook-feed doomscrolling.
And I think I’m better off for it.
That said, I chose to remain active on Instagram, which is still a timesuck for sure. One timesuck is plenty. Maybe it’s time I cut back there, too.
This year, my New Year’s resolution is to be more present with my children — particularly by keeping my smartphone out of my hands. It will be mightily tough as the owner of an online news site, but I am keenly aware of how frequently the device finds its way out of my pocket and into my palm, if for no other reason than simply to look at it.
Of course, my phone winds up in my hands all throughout the day and especially in times of boredom or anxiety. I’d like to be more present no matter where I am. But with my daughter and son, it’s an absolute must.
If I can be more present with my kids, it will yield more happiness for all of us and much healthier relationships now and in the long run. No New Year’s resolution can top that.
I know that many, if not most parents are in the same boat as me. One survey of 2,000 parents revealed that half have been begged by their own children to put their phones down. This alarming poll also found that 69% of parents feel “addicted” to their phones — so much to the point that they spend just 24 minutes more with their kids than they do on their devices.
What’s more, research shows that parents who are attached to their phones are not only less present for their kids, but they’re also more likely to yell at them. The study concludes that technophile moms and dads typically turned to their gadgets during downtime — but that they also experienced higher levels of mental distress in their daily lives.
And while we think of this younger generation as the digital generation, it turns out parents might be worse. A survey we published this past September reported that the average parent spends more time on their own electronics than the kids do on theirs.
Sure, we set limits on their screen time — but struggle to be the models they need because we can’t do it ourselves.
To push myself to be more present, I am trying to be mindful of exactly how I am responding, behaving, talking, or appearing to my kids when my phone is around. I imagine they are even more keenly aware of this than I am. They are used to it. They are familiar with the frustration. And saddest of all, they expect it.
If my phone is out, if it’s in my hand, if it’s commanding my gaze — then it is a bigger priority than my children. And even though I know that’s not actually true, it certainly looks that way.
