We’ve all been there: sitting with a friend, rolling our eyes as we recount the latest frustrating antics of another mutual acquaintance. It’s a scene as old as friendship itself. But what if this age-old ritual of venting serves a deeper, more strategic purpose than we ever realized? A study from UCLA psychologists suggests that venting is more than just an emotional release, it might be our secret weapon in the subtle art of social maneuvering. In fact, the tactic just make you more well-liked in your social circle.
This provocative idea emerges from a series of experiments conducted by Dr. Jaimie Krems, an associate professor of psychology at UCLA, and her colleagues. Their study, published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, challenges long-held assumptions about why we vent and reveals the hidden social advantages it can provide.
For decades, the prevailing wisdom on venting has been rooted in Freudian notions of catharsis – the idea that we need to release pent-up frustrations to avoid a metaphorical explosion.
“Since the 1950s, we’ve known the Freudian catharsis explanation for venting is wrong. It can feel good to vent, but venting doesn’t reliably decrease anger and sometimes even amplifies anger,” Dr. Krems points out in a statement.
If venting doesn’t actually make us feel better, why do we do it so often?
The answer, according to this new research, lies in the subtle ways venting can manipulate social dynamics in our favor. By complaining about one friend to another, we may unconsciously be attempting to make ourselves look better by comparison and strengthen our bond with the listener.
To test this theory, the team conducted several experiments involving over 1,700 participants. In each scenario, participants read vignettes where one friend (the “venter”) complained about another mutual friend (the “target”) to a third friend (the “listener”). The researchers then measured how this affected the listener’s feelings toward both the venter and the target.
The results were striking. Across multiple experiments, venting consistently caused listeners to like the venter more than the target. This effect held true even when the venter and someone who more openly criticized the target (a “derogator”) shared the exact same complaints. Remarkably, people who vented were viewed just as favorably as those who shared neutral information or talked about their own problems unrelated to the target.
Even more intriguing, the study found that venting not only made listeners prefer the venter, but it also made them more likely to provide tangible benefits. In one experiment, participants who heard someone vent were more willing to allocate valuable resources (in this case, lottery tickets) to the venter at the expense of the target.