There’s an old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. A new poll finds today’s parents are reinventing what it means to rely on their “village” when it comes to raising their kids.
According to a survey of 2,000 parents of children younger than six, 78% agree that the definition of a village — or their community and support system — is different today than when they were growing up. In fact, another 86% of parents say they have a different type of support system today than their own parents did.
Growing up, respondents recall spending the most time with grandmothers (60%), grandfathers (41%), aunts (51%), and uncles (41%), as well as their parents’ best friend (38%). In total, they can remember an average of eight different people being regularly involved in their lives as children, and a majority (86%) are still in some contact with their childhood village.
Today, parents rely on an average of seven different people, and fewer of them are relatives than ever before. Mothers (54%) and fathers (34%) still ranked at the top of the list, but today’s parents are more likely to lean on their friends (33%) or best friends (30%) than aunts or uncles (29%).
Still, 29% of parents find it difficult to make new friends today. Their inner circle most often includes the friends they made after having children (24%). Interestingly, parents are more likely to spend time with their childhood friends (15%) than they are with friends they made in adulthood before having children (14%), their teenage crew (9%), and even their college friends (6%). In fact, 83% say their child making a new friend results in building a friendship with their parents at least some of the time.
Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of The Goddard School, researchers found that four in five parents polled (81%) believe that it’s imperative to have a support system when it comes to raising their child, and another 43% believe parenting is more difficult today than it was for their own parents.
About a quarter of parents (27%) rely less on family members for support than their parents did for reasons such as not having a close relationship with their family (33%) or their family members having other responsibilities and being too busy to help (32%). A quarter (25%) made the conscious decision to do things differently than their parents and lean on their family less.
On the flip side, 47% choose to lean on their family more. Over four in 10 (41%) simply want a deep family connection, while others find it easier because both they and their partner work full time (31%) and it is more cost-effective (29%).
The good news is that parents are reaping the benefits of their new villages. The vast majority (87%) believe their support system has improved the development of their children’s social and emotional skills.
The added support also enables parents to spend more quality time with their child (36%), complete tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and errands (33%), and be a better or more present parent (31%).
“Raising children today is like steering a ship through a storm; it can be tumultuous and unnerving, and without a compass to guide your ship—or a strong support system to help you parent—it’s easy to lose your way,” says Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, in a statement. “I encourage all parents to take full advantage of their entire network, including their school and childcare provider, to help them navigate their parenting journey.”
Almost three-quarters (74%) of parents surveyed currently have their child enrolled in school or with a childcare provider. Of those parents, 89% say that their child’s school or childcare provider is now a part of their village, and they rely on them for support or guidance an average of 12 times per month.
Despite this, almost two-thirds (65%) wish their child’s school or childcare provider offered more opportunities to connect with other parents. Family gatherings and social events (45%), educational workshops for parents and their children (36%), and celebrations and cultural events (35%) topped the list of opportunities parents would enjoy.
Source : https://studyfinds.org/raising-children-takes-a-village