Prenuptial agreements are on the rise – so why do they still feel taboo?

They have long been commonplace for celebrities and the super-rich, but in recent years prenuptial agreements have filtered into the real world, too. Solicitors have reported big rises in requests for the legal deals, but what are the factors behind the trend – and is it here to stay?

Pictures: iStock/Sky News

As Olivia* was picking her wedding dress, she and her partner Leo were also discussing divorce.

Despite being in love and ready to commit, having a prenup, they both agreed, was simply the sensible thing to do when starting married life.

“You go into it with love and hope for the future,” Olivia says. “But also realism.”

They are not alone. Once the preserve of Hollywood celebs and the super-rich, prenuptial agreements are on the rise among “normal” people too, with legal and marriage experts saying numbers have increased dramatically in recent years; around one in five weddings in the UK now involves some form of legal agreement, according to several polls.

Olivia and Leo got engaged last year after meeting on a dating app. Olivia, in her early 40s, is a business founder and Leo, who is in his late 30s, now works for her company. He was the one to initially broach the subject of a prenup.

“I didn’t want to at first as it doesn’t feel very romantic,” says Olivia. “It kind of puts a dampener on things – you’re at this really happy stage of getting married and then you’re potentially talking about, what happens if we split?”

Both have children from previous marriages, both have been through divorce. They decided a prenup was the right thing to do. Now, just a few weeks after their honeymoon, they are happily reminiscing through their wedding day photos; the prenup filed away, no longer a talking point, but there should they ever need it.

Experts say it is not just about protecting money, but about property and other assets, too

“It didn’t feel right that if something was to happen in the future, I could just have what she had built with her business,” says Leo. “I wanted to make the decision from my heart and do what’s right and to focus on building shared assets together.”

“Both of us had amicable divorces,” Olivia adds. “But we know what can happen. It’s reality, and I think life is more complex these days.”

The law on prenups in the UK

A prenuptial or premarital agreement is one made before a couple marries or enters into a civil partnership, setting out how they wish assets to be divided in the event of a split. They are not automatically enforceable in England and Wales, but following a landmark ruling by the Supreme Court in 2010, courts now take them into account as long as they have been made in good faith.

They have long been commonplace for celebrities: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie reportedly had one, as apparently did Britney Spears and Sam Asghari. Catherine Zeta Jones reportedly told Vanity Fair back in 2000, the year she married Michael Douglas, that she thinks prenups are “brilliant”. And over the past few years, they have filtered into the real world, too.

Co-op Legal Services says prenup sales in 2023 were up by 60% on 2022, as were cohabitation agreements – and that postnup agreements almost trebled (an increase of almost 185%) in the same period. It says 21% of married people in Britain, or one in five couples, now have some form of an agreement in place, tallying with research published by marriage advocate charity the Marriage Foundation in 2021.

 

The average value of the assets included in Co-op prenups sits between £500,000 and £600,000, it says. Family law firm OLS Solicitors also reports a big increase in requests – a rise of 60% between 2021 and 2023, with a further 26% increase in the first quarter of 2024 compared with the same period last year.

Experts put the rise down to a number of factors: women earning more; more people remarrying and going into partnerships with children; the internet increasing savviness and accessibility when it comes to the law. Millennials and younger generations are also generally getting married later in life than their parents, therefore accruing more assets individually ahead of the milestone.

Plus, these generations have grown up experiencing divorce between mums and dads or other people close to them, in a way that was far less common for their parents and grandparents.

‘Break-up talk isn’t romantic – neither is death, but we make a will’

Despite the rising number of couples choosing this route, it seems few are comfortable talking about it publicly. The idea of a prenup being “unromantic” still prevails.

Olivia and Leo did not want to give their real names, saying they did not feel ready to share the details with the world. They arranged their prenup through Wenup, an online platform aiming to make couples’ deals more accessible and affordable, launched in the UK in 2023 in response to the increasing demand.

“Prenups are considered taboo, unromantic and are something very private to most people,” says Wenup co-founder James Brookner.

“This is changing for younger generations who have a more open, pragmatic and non-traditional view of marriage, but for many people, thinking about what will happen if they break up in the lead-up to a wedding is a difficult enough conversation to have in private, let alone public.”

Nicole*, who moved from the UK to New Zealand several years ago and married her husband, Will, after three years together in 2019, says they discussed getting a prenup – or contracting out agreement, as they are known there – before she moved in with him, six months into their relationship.

“[He] raised the idea because he had worked hard to buy his first house and wanted to ensure he retained his rights to ownership should our relationship break down,” Nicole says.

The 38-year-old admits she was “caught a bit off guard” when he first broached the subject, but due to the law in the country – the Property Relationships Act, which means any individually owned property is shared equally in the event of a break-up after three years of a couple living together, regardless of marriage – it felt like the right thing to do.

They reached an agreement they were both happy with and Will, 42, covered legal costs as they had to have independent advice. The couple now have a young daughter and are happily married – and for this, you have to balance romance and practicality, says Nicole.

“Talking about breaking up isn’t romantic – nor is talking about death, but we all have to write a will at some stage. I think the reluctance is often because one party is trying to protect assets from the other, with no ill intent usually, but I can see why the other party may feel a little despondent about the suggestion if they don’t understand the law.

“Personally, I have seen too many nasty break-ups that could have been a lot cleaner had the proper agreements been in place at the outset.”

What do prenups cover?

While couples in the UK might not be showing them off along with their engagement pics, attitudes are changing privately. A YouGov poll in 2023 found that 42% of British people consider prenups a good idea, compared with 13% who consider them a bad idea. A similar poll on prenups 10 years earlier found that 35% would sign a prenup if asked to, with 36% saying they would not.

Family law solicitor Tracey Moloney, who is known as The Legal Queen online – with more than a million followers across her TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube accounts – says social media has made legal advice more accessible.

Up to about five years ago she would probably get one prenuptial request a year, if that. Now, she averages about one a week, taking cohabitation agreements for unmarried couples into consideration as well. She says she would always advise couples to have one.

“I think any family lawyer is going to say that because we see so many divorces. We’re realists. I think people can forget that when you say ‘I do’, you are entering into a contractual relationship anyway… financial ties exist because your marriage has created a binding contract. If you’re going to go into a contract in any other scenario – buying a property, buying shares in a company – you’re going to take advice. I don’t think marriage should be seen any differently.”

Prenups can cover anything from money to property to assets – including future assets such as expected inheritance – whether they are worth millions or simply of sentimental value, she points out, citing a recent agreement drawn up to protect an antique writing desk. It was “really dear to that person, passed down from generation to generation”, but of no real monetary value.

Source: https://news.sky.com/story/prenuptial-agreements-are-on-the-rise-so-why-do-they-still-feel-taboo-13135278

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