A men’s right organisation posted on X last week that the Hindi film ‘Mrs’ (see box), now running, was spreading ‘toxic feminism’.
The Hindi film, a remake of a Malayalam hit, tells the story of a woman confined to the kitchen and assigned household chores. She eventually rebels and walks out of her marriage.
Lawyers have observed a steadily increasing number of women approaching them for divorce when they feel their freedom is being curbed.
Advocate B N Nagaraja says about 40 per cent of the divorce cases he has handled involve conflicts over restriction of identity and “being ordered to do menial chores”.
“Women between 25 and 35 mostly approach us. These problems are often termed as silly by parents and society. However, women are now highly qualified and want to build careers,” he says.
Advocate Mrudula Vanangamudi, who works with Alternative Law Forum, says that cruelty and domestic violence can include verbal, emotional, economic, sexual and other forms of abuse.
About 30 per cent of cases she has handled involve women who file for divorce as they feel they are denied the freedom to shape their own identity.
Although this may not always convince the courts to dissolve the marriage, many couples end up negotiating at length and dissolving the marriage, she says.
Advocate Bojamma P K says that such cases are tried under mental cruelty in Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Special Marriage Act of 1954, Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act of 1939, and the Indian Divorce Act of 1869.
Women’s rights groups and mental health counsellors also shared with Metrolife about similar cases they have come across.
Rights groups say…
Priya Varadarajan, founder of Durga India, an NGO working on gender equality, says denial of opportunities, emotional abuse, and disproportionate household work are common concerns.
Many women, typically in their late 20s to 30s, approach Durga India for mediation and help, citing problems like possessiveness and restrictions on dressing. Notably, 35 per cent of the 600 women Durga India worked with in the last year complained about denial of opportunities.
Smitha Kumar, programme coordinator at Vimochana, highlights that young women often seek help due to conflicts arising from expectations around cooking, praying, and work timings.
“Women are expected to follow certain rules for safety and to keep up family ideals,” she notes. Marital disputes account for 70 per cent of Vimochana’s cases, with 35 per cent leading to divorce. Last year, 250 of the 1,030 complaints they received were related to financial and emotional abuse, disrespect, and restrictions at home.
Toll on mental health
According to psychotherapist and counsellor Tasneem Nakhoda, even open-minded men say household responsibilities are neglected when their partners focus on their careers.
About 80 per cent of cases she has handled in the past three years have involved marital difficulties. “Within these cases, around 15 per cent involve women restricted to household duties, while around 30 per cent concern women not being allowed to work,” she says.
Psychiatrist Safiya M S says 40 to 50 per cent of her patients are working professionals struggling with identity crises as “good wives and daughters-in-law”. They are typically between 23 and 36, she notes.
In some households, women are expected to wash clothes by hand and adhere to traditional habits, leading to conflicts.
“In other homes, the wife is expected to make the first cup of tea for her husband. Regardless of fatigue, wives are required to wake up early and prepare meals for the family. In some families, all decisions must be made after consulting elders,” she says.
Safiya adds: “Often, businessmen and men from upper-middle-class and upper-class families restrict their partners from working outside.” Women then experience a lack of validation, time, and personal space, she observes.
Psychologist Nithya J Rao says women in toxic marriages are often not allowed to seek counselling until their distress becomes somatic.
“Women from upper classes are often given dummy roles in family businesses, with no financial gain, or they are restricted to teaching and secretarial positions,” she says.
Nithya has observed that “a person in a toxic relationship tries to leave for 13 years” before actually doing it.
What happened?
Bollywood film ‘Mrs’, released on OTT on February 7, is a remake of the Malayalam film ‘The Great Indian Kitchen’. It addresses topics like suppression of a woman’s identity, trivialising of her desires, and dismissal of her needs.
On February 12, Save Indian Family Foundation, a Bengaluru- and Delhi-based men’s rights group, posted on X that men work for eight to nine hours at construction sites, railway stations, airports, and factories, while women do household chores and attend to the family. The post questioned how the latter was considered oppression.
Case studies
Many women, including Bengalureans Seema and Joceline T (names changed), are seeking divorce as they feel they are in similar circumstances.
Seema, a marketing professional, was asked to quit her high-paying job to attend to household duties. With spats with her husband rising, she filed for a divorce.
Source : https://www.deccanherald.com/india/is-ott-film-mrs-pitting-women-against-men-3415007