Since I was in college I have seen couples getting together and breaking up, falling out of love faster than I could change clothes. People were “trying each other on” like new dresses and collecting experiences.
Many, if not most, of the couples I saw during my twenties were in such miserable relationships that I was grateful to be alone and to have the energy, drive, and desire to grow personally, professionally and spiritually.
So what is a loving relationship that has the power to last forever? I strongly believe that we have to take care of ourselves first in order to let somebody into our lives who will look in the same direction. And then together we can co-create a beautiful life day-by-day.
I now know for sure that there are secrets to why two people in a relationship stay in love, while so many others end up broken up, or worse yet, divorced.
The eight common things couples who stay madly in love — forever — do differently.
1. Respect each other
We all are different people with different minds, hobbies, thoughts, views, tastes. We are so multifaceted and we change moment by moment. Respecting each other as human beings, as professionals and partners is crucial for a good working relationship. Respecting every step and being there witnessing each other’s life-journey without any judgment.
2. Trust in each other
We all make tons of mistakes, we have horrible days, we get sick, we fail, we fight, we say awful things to each other, we hold grudges, we can’t get past traumas, sometimes we don’t feel sexy or smart, we feel like losers. During those times we all need somebody to remind us of our greatness and just to be there for us.
We need our lover, our partner to trust in us. Somebody who sincerely loves us and sees our inner and outer beauty no matter what. In a healthy relationship, two people will want that the other person is feeling good about her/himself. And to know that our partner always trusts in our development and choices will make the relationships strong and comfortable.
3. Give personal space
In a strong relationship, two people will give each other space to be themselves, to grow in a direction they choose and help each other become even more of who they authentically, essentially are. Changing another person will lead nowhere. It’s either learning to love unconditionally or going through the hell of not being accepted all over again.
4. Take care of yourself first
One of my favorite books, Mastery of Love, talks about it precisely. It’s not our responsibility to make our partner happy and it’s not your partner’s duty to make you happy. It is our responsibility to make ourselves happy and fill our own cup and from that cup we can share the love with our partner.
If we are not satisfied with who we are, if we lack self-confidence, if we can’t overcome traumas from childhood and past relationships, we will always project our misery onto other people.
Source: https://www.yourtango.com/love/couples-stay-love-do-differently
