We’ve all been there, mired in the throes of pessimism when life just doesn’t seem to be going our way. For the lucky ones, this entirely natural, though disconcerting, feeling ebbs and flows, ultimately dissolving into a more balanced, healthier state of mind. For hapless others, though, the extreme negative thoughts and ideation can overwhelm—even becoming “who they are.” At worst, it can be deadly, as one peer-reviewed study found that “people who are strongly pessimistic about the future are at greater risk of dying earlier than those who are not pessimists.”
It turns out that we as humans might be built for negativity, making us our own worst enemy. This, as other research casts doubt on so-called optimism bias, debunking the notion that some people inherently “see” life “through rose-tinted glasses.” It’s an unfortunate opportunity loss, as another study found optimism to be associated with “exceptional longevity.”
“Thoughts are powerful things, and both the positive and negative lead to our moods, our physiological symptoms and our behaviors,” says clinical psychologist Monica Vermani, author of A Deeper Wellness: Conquering Stress, Mood, Anxiety and Traumas. “Even though, at times, we may feel as though we are not, we are the ones in control of our thoughts. We can choose not only what we think about but how we think about it.”